So matching a water fountain was impossible for our researchers. Their are definite limitations on what the average person can achieve blowing with straws, but what limitations do the human body put on sucking?
The longest yard
An important factor to remember while sucking on a straw is that the change in height that the liquid undergoes in the straw is very important. A change in vertical height is a change in gravitational potential energy. So the higher a person is above the liquid they want to suck up, the more difficult it will be for them. It doesn't take an experiment by us to confirm this, but we made one anyway.
The test
For our last test we used drinking straws, tape, and water. We connected the straws one after the other testing if we could still get water after each additional straw. Unfortunately, the longer the straw got, the worse it performed. By the time we reached the top of staircase it would take an immense suck and the user would receive a few droplets of water and a lot of air. The shortcomings of duct tape made the seals leak air. This leaked air created enough turbulence in the tube that it was mostly air allowing a few drops of water to make it up impressive heights.
The science
If the straw were perfectly air tight the result would have been a very different story. The maximum vertical distance the average person can suck with an everyday straw is about two meters above the water's surface ("How High Can You Suck"). Even if a perfect vacuum were created at the top of an unbreakable straw there would still be limitations to the height water can be sucked. With this perfect vacuum the maximum vertical height is a little under ten meters ("How High Can You Suck). Even with these limitations the everyday straw is still an impressive tool and a lot of fun.
Why
Straws are just one of the little everyday things people use and don't really think about how or why, but now you know why! Congratulations readers.