With a snide laugh, Doctor Centrifugus blocks Physics Man's weak and pathetic punch. "You, sir, punch like an immobile doll. Of the weakest man on earth. Dressed in funny clothes." With a shove, he sends Physics Man sprawling to the ground. "Fortunately for you, this is a pinball tournament and not a battle of fisticuffs. " Sneering, he continues. "No matter, though, for you face the wrath of my Pinball Wizard, Tommy! HE OF THE SUPPLE WRIST!" Leaning down to face his supine foe directly, Doctor Centrifugus smiled a slow smile.... slowly. "Laugh while you can, monkey boy.... your precious Physics is about to go down in flames!"

Physics Man struggled to stay calm. Physics was one thing, but pinball? Men spent their lives learning the intricate patterns that shaped the board - and what did he know of pinball, anyway?

Well, said the voice inside his head, you DO know the following facts...

Pinball derives from the French game "Bagatelle", made popular in the late 1700s.

Modern pinball tables have a 6-7 degree tilt, allowing gravity to accelerate the ball.

Pinball was illegal for many years as it fell under anti-gambling statutes, being thought to be a game of more luck than skill.

The UAF Wood Center is home to two historically important pinball machines: The Star Wars machine is one of two "Pinball 2000" machines made by Bally in 1999, which replaced traditional targets with "holograms" in an attempt to compete with video games while "Medieval Madness" is seen by many as the finest game made by legendary pinball table designer Brian Eddy, regularly selling for $5,000 to $15,000 at auction.

Ultimately, pinball is just a point particle made of steel bouncing around a system under the constant affects of gravity, momentary impulses from flippers and bumpers, and the occasional magnetic field - and that's just physics!

"I don't need magic to beat you, Centrifugus - and your Hogwarts dropout should have stayed in school long enough to learn that the laws of physics aren't to be trifled with." Slowly, Physics Man walked to the nearest pinball machine, cracking his knuckles in a string of small sonic explosions. "Trust me," he said, his voice low and menacing, "even if I told you that F equals G times m₁ multiplied by m₂, divided by r squared - where F is the magnitude of the gravitational force between the two point masses, G is the gravitational constant, m₁ and m₂ are the masses of our two point masses, and r is the distance between them - you still wouldn't know the gravity of the situation that you're in."